I’ve moved. Out of my apartment, my city, my country, even my continent.
Some people said that I was crazy to do that, some people said I wad brave, a lot were a little bit envious. Every move indeed brings a fair share of new opportunities. For this occasion, I started visualizing a total reboot: I could completely reinvent myself, into a better, stronger, healthier me.
When you think a little about it, most of our bad habits are linked to our environment. Smoking, for exemple. I really couldn’t quit smoking in Paris, because I felt that my life was basically organized around it. It was the same with my junk food consumption, my never going to the gym, my buying vegetables but letting them rot because I’m never home.
I’m not against having a healthy life: I just can’t change my habits without changing my life.
I know that all of that is heavily biased, and that it was probably easier for me to think that way. But please bear with me.
That’s really how I became: so deeply mired in my bad habits that I (conveniently) felt powerless about it.
That’s why just moving gave me hope of a full renewal. The perfect opportunity to create new habits, a new me, from a blank slate. I could already taste it. I was picturing myself like all of these lifestyle bloggers, you know, those who are perfectly happy, perfectly healthy, loving pilates and eating seeds for fun. I was so optimistic that I shipped 95% of my clothes in boxes, but kept my brand new sport gear and my snickers with me.
So, here I was in my new environment. After some days of visiting and adjusting, I was ready to start becoming my new me. I started the transformation by writing on paper all of my new habits : wake up early, exercise, eat healthy, no cigarettes, no alcohol, write a journal, meditate, express gratitude, read inspiring and empowering stories, commit in a few MOOCs, go to bed early. All of that would take me something like 4 hours per day, but it’s okay.
My new self deserved at least that.
Well, I’m not going to delay the drama: it obviously failed.
Of course it failed. Of course I wasn’t going to become this whole new person overnight.
Maybe one of the things that I missed out is this : the lifestyle bloggers, well, they probably genuinely love pilates and eat seeds for fun. I don’t. I can’t. I won’t. I love Netflix and pizzas. I add sugar in my coffee, and a lot of salt on everything else. And I smoke a cigarette after.
Nobody has the willpower to change everything at once, to decide to get up early tomorrow morning and be a different person.
But, we all have enough of it to make small changes that will eventually make a difference. I won’t do all of that in a sudden, but what I can do now is trying to wake up earlier and enjoy staying a little while in my bed to read the book I wanted to read for a while. Just with that, I will wake up in a better mood and that’s already something.
There is no point in pressuring myself in becoming like these girls in the lifestyle blogs in a second. Giving up my bad habits will take time, but at least I’m trying.
I’m not perfect, I won’t be, but I’m getting better. One habit at a time, one day at a time.